Time Zone Change 2

Picked up by bff, dreadfully jet lagged. Saw Fedheads, had rehearsal, co-babysat nephew and then went to the Hideout, supposedly for a business meeting with our performance parters, Crawlspace Art Gallery. Instead, I am surprised and told welcome home by a whole bunch of awesome friends. The whole meeting was a ruse, orchestrated by this foolio:

Time Zone Change 1

Saw sister, had Himalayan food, met Lyla: best baby in world. Walked dog with bestest friend ever.

On My Way to Amerikay

You have to pass through the centre to get to the other side.

See What We See

There was a wonderful little article about the Billingsgate Fish Market in The Guardian, plus a nifty slide show. See what we saw. Here. And here.

Additionally, one of my group members found a bunch of stuff on youtube, post-project. We tried to create a dance of the porters, transposing interactions we saw, like this. And we also tried to communicate the witty banter we heard, like this bit here.

It makes me wonder (in a good-bad way) what the point of it all is. We worked so, so hard to try and show people what we saw, smelled and observed, and me, princess of light and air, trying so hard to communicate the big, grounded bodies of the fish marketeers, when all we had to do was point them to the real thing on youtube. If art imitates life, then why do we not simply direct them to life? Why do we have to remove people from life, struggle to put it in an artistic context and then struggle to get people to come see it?

I have been amazed at the number of people I've spoken with here who tell me how much they admire artists and how much they've gotten out of shows they've seen but it seems more often than not, people--even Londoners--state quite frankly, "oh, I never go to the theatre."

And here's this--and I just went next door to the coffee shop and the Polish guy who works there had very definite ideas about the state of theatre, even Polish theatre. He said to me, (imagine lovely Polish accent here) "I think it's good to try things, but sometimes you have to realize that what you're doing is a waste of time."

Education! Clarity! Joy!

After ending the year feeling like I wasn't any closer to understanding movement or how to create the skillful theatre I love, I attended an evening of movement pieces, one by a former student of my program. The piece wasn't terribly good and as I found myself analyzing why it didn't work, I realized that I had learned something after all.

I've been covering a lot of the other receptionist's hours this week and after an entire afternoon of sorting petty cash receipts, I realized that I do not want to work in an office, EVER AGAIN. And this isn't even an office. It's a lovely little independently run holistic health center where I get to chat with a variety of people and pop next door to the organic, vegetarian coffee shop for half-price salads after 5pm. Even so, no more dreary desk jobs--long live art! Even at the expense of giving up bourgeoisie indulgences and being as poor as a church mouse.

Things I do not regret dragging across the ocean:
Things of beauty: my beaded mirror, tiger fan, Andy Warhols, rabbit charm
Kitchen things: my good knife (now dubbed The Fifth Member of the Family), blue mug, tea mug, non-stick frying pan, plates designed by siblings
Things of comfot: my down comfortor and my yoga mat (even though I rarely use it)
...and Lil' Pisser

But honestly, I could survive with a pair of stellar jeans, my lap top and the good kitchen knife.

Amish

My friend and playwright Tommy interviewed the author of THE AMISH PLAY, about the aftermath of the 2006 shooting of school children in Pennsylvania, not long after our shooting at the Fed. The Amish community's response was to immediately forgive the shooter and move to comfort his family, recognizing them as victims as well. This bit of the interview caught my attention:

SCS: For me the biggest question that always comes up is, what would happen if we forgave the person who hurt us the most deeply in this world? What would happen if our perspective shifted and we were able to do that? I mean, really do that. Because that’s so not the way that our mainstream culture thinks about things. It’s not the way I think about things. But I do feel like, and I guess my perspective has shifted, in a weird way that the play makes me reconsider my actions. In a way it is very personal, because it’s like, Wow, if that could happen, and the Amish response could be that, then what is the ripple effect? What if we do that with our neighbors who hurt us?

JD: But also I don’t think the play champions forgiveness—

SCS: No.

JD: —or says that we should be just like the Amish. I think it sets up a complex picture about forgiveness and think it certainly lands on honoring the authenticity of that choice, the singularity of forgiving as opposed to many other ways that don’t involve forgiveness that we culturally have built in. I’m curious about the social contract of forgiveness, what it means to be forgiven. What’s the exchange there? If I forgive you, we are making a pact in some way. There’s a contract there that’s unsaid, and what is it? And doing the play, I was really inside one of the characters and asking myself, what is that moment? And I had this image of a really thick rope, and we’re both standing here on the bloody ground and the rope leads up, and if you accept my forgiveness we both have to climb out, and that’s arduous. Even the forgiver has to take the loss in a way, I have to lose whatever you took from me—my daughter, my job—and we both agree to just climb out and not go deeper down. And that is heavy, that is a heavy thing for both parties. There’s a promise in there to one another that you hold each other to, and I think that’s very interesting that those relationships that were formed around the crime in that reconciliation process have maintained. The Amish don’t just say, “It’s cool and have a good life.” They stay in touch. Have dinner. Check in with each other. See how you’re feeling. You don’t let go of the rope. The forgiveness is that deep. Its that permanent. It’s a promise to each other to reach up.

Day Off

Today is my first full day off since school ended. This morning I tried to make myself a nice brunch and attempted pancakes made with potato flour. Lesson learned.

I'm cleaning up my London life, working lots, reading bits of De Profundis, thinking about Shakespeare, trying to find some time to watch a monster movie or two . It's been cold and rainy and cold here.

I'm also trying to collect famous quotes from the following Shakespeare plays. I have a few, but please comment below with the most famous line from each of these plays. Even if I've already included a line, please submit others.

As You Like It--"All the world's a stage and all the men and women merely players."
Merchant of Venice--" I am a Jew. Hath not a Jew eyes? Hath not a Jew hands,
organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions; fed with the same
food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases,
heal'd by the same means, warm'd and cool'd by the same winter
and summer, as a Christian is? If you prick us, do we not bleed? If
you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die?
And if you wrong us, do we not revenge? If we are like you in the
rest, we will resemble you in that."
Midsummer Night's Dream--"Lord, what fools these mortals be!"
Tempest--"O brave new world that has such people in't!"
Twelfth Night--"If music be the food of love, play on."
"Make me a willow cabin at your gate...."
"As item, two lips, indifferent red"
Henry V--"O for a muse of fire that would ascend the brightest heaven of invention!"
Richard III--"My horse, my horse, my kingdom for a horse!"
Hamlet--"To be or not to be, that is the question."
"What a rouge and peasent slave am I"
Julius Caesar--"e tu Brute, then fall Ceaser."
King Lear--"Blow winds, crack your cheeks..."
"Thou shalt never come again, never, never, never, never."
Macbeth--"out out, damn spot!"
"Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player

That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing."

Othello--"Put out the light and then put out the light"
Romeo and Juliet--
Much Ado about Nothing--
Taming of the Shrew--
Winter's Tale--

End of First Year

This is what I look like, now that my first year is over.

Paper Roses

Mock, Angelina Mouse and I were on the bus last night and Mock pulled out some American cash she had been sent for her birthday. We laughed and laughed at how silly it looked and how ridiculous that it might actually be worth something.

Home Sweet Home

On Saturdays, one of our massage therapists at work sets up his massage chair in the lobby and gives 10 minute massages while the Broadway Market is on. Yesterday a guy came in to have one and afterwards inquired about osteopathy. I couldn't place his accent--subtly British with a slight Irish lilt and then a sudden twang of something...familiar. I asked him where he was from and he says, "Virginia."

I got so excited I nearly bounced out of my chair. Turns out that he's from Faquier County (the rest of Virginia, not Northern Virginia) but no matter. We chatted about how we ended up in London (he's been here nine years) and where we wanted to go after we're through with London.

After he left, I realized that his nowhere/everywhere British accent must have piqued my interest because he sounded just like me.

Two Items of Annoyance

If you're going to buy cigarettes, don't skimp and buy the cheap ones. There's no point in smoking unless you're going to have that slight suffocating feeling in your throat.

I rode the bus today from Angel to Dalston where a child screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed. I tried all my best tactics but for the first time in a long time, I found myself genuinely losing my cool.

School. Is Out. For. Summer

Last night I finished year one of my grad degree. My class created and performed a ritual to send the second years off into the world. I became an ordained minister through the Church of Universal Life and started the ritual by marrying all 96 members of the student body to each other. I wore a toga and a tinfoil headdress (it was Greek-themed, whaddaya want?).

The rest of the day involved feeling like a hard-working actor in a dress-up character gig, lots of clapping, getting hugged and snuggled by various girlfriends, receiving a private Feldenkris lesson, a lot of standing in the rain, being invited a Christmas wedding in India and dancing the night away to an amazing gypsy band at our favorite end-of-term dive pub, The George.

I am so looking forward to a summer of no school and letting my body integrate all the lessons it has received over this year. Here's to a summer of making good choices, making art and making...out.

*photo by the marvelous anis da beast

End of Fourth Quarter

Despite our struggles to overcome our lack of momentum, the Fish group nee Food (possibly bread) group pulled it in to create a tight piece of theatre based on our observations of the Billingsgate Fish Market.

In our world of men and fish, four women and one man dressed in white jackets, white t-shirts and wellies. We surrounded ourselves with a pine pallet and white styrofoam boxes from the fish market and proceeded to share the rhythms, sights and characters of the market, bending reality to strip down to silver clothing and ultimately present a fish cabaret and a pas de duex between a porter and a sea bass.

Here, for all our amusement, is a photo of me sewing up the hole in Germany's pants, right before the presentation.


(I am happy to say that all the second years that I talked to thought our piece was the best. : )

Middle of Forth Quarter

This is what I looked like in the middle of fourth quarter. And sometimes like this:

End of Third Quarter

This is what I looked like at the end of third quarter.

Beginning of Third Quarter

This is what I looked like at the beginning of third quarter, from the full 360.

Middle of Second Quarter

This is what I looked like in the middle of second quarter. It's two shots of me, one from the front, one from the back. Can you tell which is which?

Beginning of Second Quarter

This is what I looked like at the beginning of second quarter.

Beginning of First Quarter

This is what I looked like when I started the year.

Last September

This is what I looked like before I left.

Three Down, One to Go

Did the 20 Movements today. And that was that.

Only Fish to go...can we do it?

I Yikes My Bruises

Catalog of Bruises:

1 covering half of the left elbow: presumably from acrobatics (shoulder roll?)
1 small, right thigh: lifting Joanna during the Fish piece
1 small, right knee: bruised and re-bruised from kneeling, rolling, anything
1 massive bruise, covering the inside of the left ankle, down to the heel and across into the left arch: falling out of headstand onto some acro equipment
1 long purple bruise, outside of right foot: from ???
1 internal bruise on the inside of the ball of my foot, far right
12-15 small bruises on the inside of my right upper arm, from carrying a pallet back to school for the Fish project.

Ea told me that the last set of bruises are exactly the type that trapeze artists get. I feel very cool.

Almost Three

Tomorrow is my 20 Movements presentation! Wish me luck.

PS: Art is hard.

Oh No

I hurt my foot last week doing nothing, just rolling over it on the mats. Isn't that always the way? It's not super painful, but I clearly need to stay off it and I can't because of final projects. Also, I'm tired so I'm going to sleep. Maybe dream of the 20 movements.

What the hell is this entry?

My heart is full of love for my friends, classmates and summer.

Two and a Half

Even though people are sometimes difficult to work with, I really like my creation group and our fish piece. All people are difficult to work with some of the time. And sometimes you have to spend part of rehearsal scrubbing fish guts out of Styrofoam boxes.

Two Down

Acro final done! I may not be the best acrobat in class but I defend my work better than anyone else (not arrogance, just intention and feedback from classmates). Performance skills I do got. I think my free-skate depressed everyone, but then again I wasn't dancing to Michael Jackson, so whatever.

Samander came to town ever-so briefly before heading to Africa and asked me to come get a drink. Our long, easy-going conversation was incredibly reaffirming. Go life!

My new thing is deep, vibrant pink roses.

Ghosty

On Monday I met and made friends with two ghosts. One I had already met, we just re-negotiated our relationship. The whole thing was quite interesting.

My foot seems to be healing and I should be able to do my acro presentation after all, thank goodness. Our final creation piece is coming along nicely and already includes rhythm nation boxes, dancing porters (ala Pina Bausch's Cafe Muller) and a fish cabaret. All of this dervived from observation of the Billingsgate Fish Market. We still have a week to work on it. Who knows what will happen!

All of this swirls around my lack of interest in the internal life of flies.

Off-Balance

So, I hurt my foot re-choreographing my acro routine today. This is not good. During term two, another girl fractured her foot walking during class and had to leave the school. I am paranoid.

My roomie says that scientists tested Olympic athletes visualizing themselves running the perfect race. During the visualization, all the same neurons and electrical impulses fired as when they were running an actual race. Therefore, I am going to plan my routine out on paper and visualize myself doing it perfectly over and over again while my foot heals in the next 12 hours. (I am visualizing that, too.)

Staying Balanced

--means ripping the skin underneath one of my toes on both feet. This time I did it dancing to very American tunes at the 4th of July party.

I donated one of the My Body kiddie pools to the cause and upon arrival, whipped off my dress to reveal my swimsuit and then sat and rolled in the water. It was kind of amazing (as camiluvsozzy would say). Then I got a hamburger and got back into the pool. Then I had a glass of wine and stood in the pool. Then I walked around and said to the British guests, "no hard feelings, right?" Then I danced and ripped my toe open. This is how we stay balanced.

One Down

Space lab project made and moved.

Also, Helsinki Syndrome was contacted and invited to play Brighton! Don't know if we will go, but hey now!

So Tired

15 days till end of school.

Too many things to do.

Still

Still have a little cold. Still going to school. Still investing in the cool people. Still learning to say no fully.

The gondolier is my favorite of the 20 movements.